From the department of heh:

MONROE, Ohio -- A six-story-tall statue of Jesus Christ with his arms raised along a highway was struck by lightning in a thunderstorm Monday night and burned to the ground, police said.

What a great loss to humanity -- a 62-foot-tall Jesus statue made of plastic foam and fiberglass over a steel frame. Gone. Plastic foam and fiberglass. Plastic. You showed your love for your chosen deity with a plastic sculpture. No fucking wonder he thought you were being tactless and zapped the ugly thing when he had a spare moment from killing birds in the Gulf of Mexico.

I mean, really, now: we're always being told by the oh-so-pious that this, that, and the other calamity is God's way of telling us he's pissed off. Pat Robertson was quick to claim that Hurricane Katrina was God's punishment for the gays in New Orleans, and the old saying "may God strike you down" was always used to imply that he really was a sort of Zeus-wanna-be with a big taser and could drop you if you got too far out of line. Well, guess what: Touchdown Jesus got zapped, not some random gay guy up the road or the lesbian couple down the way. The Jesus statue got grilled.

If we're to take the almighty God myth seriously, what the hell does that tell you about his feelings for his most devout and committed followers? And if this shows us that, really, the whole God thing is a bit retarded, then surely Mr. & Mrs. Bishop -- the couple who spent mucho moolah on the plastic fantastic hommage to their favorite dude -- are feeling a bit embarrassed at this time -- as well they should.

(Photo of one of God's other practical jokes by Matthew Mcvay/Corbis)

What a coinkidink -- just as Sir Change-a-Lot is getting ready to yet again defend (and ask for money for) the continued and increasingly unpopular American involvement in Afghanistan in spite of any measurable progress (unless American soldiers killed in combat and billiions of tax payer dollars spent is "progress"), down the pike comes this little nugget of exploitative potential, courtesy of the New York Times:

U.S. Identifies Vast Riches of Minerals in Afghanistan

So, not only is Afghanistan key to moving oil & gas from the middle of nowhere to a market conveniently near us, it also turns out it's the next great location for some good ol' environmentally devastating mining and all-out looting and pillaging of mother nature's riches. Nothing is more American than that, is it now, so of course we have to stay for the party and make away with our "fair" share of the spoils of our war.

What's really frightening, however, is that we have to hear about this new discovery from Vice Roy Petraeus, America's favorite son, the macho man in charge of all the US carnage in the region. "“There is stunning potential here," he says. Really? Silly me, I thought we'd hired the general to run our war on those pesky brown people who insist on inhabiting the neighborhood -- since when did Petraeus become so interested in minerals and geology? As a matter of fact, why does the Pentagon have a bunch of geologists running around Afghanistan exploring the potential for mining? Why, it's almost as if they were charged with finding some plausible justification & potential profit for a long-term US military involvement in (aka occupation of) Afghanistan...

Oh, but with an upstanding guy like Hamid Karzai in charge, surely the riches from this potential windfall will end up benefiting the Afghan people rather than, say, foreign interests (aka American mining companies) and their local cronies (aka Hamid Karzai's wealthy friends). Right? Right?

(Photo by Lihee Avidan)

(From Caoimhin Laochdha at GMD)

Bikeseomwhere.com sucks.

The end.

No, seriously, this is one lame, pathetic place to shop. Don't. Just don't shop there -- even if they have the best deal on something, their crappy shipping, dubious business practices, and complete lack of customer response (would it kill you to actually answer the phone or respond to email?) puts them about as far down the list as you can get. Between the four of us in my family we have 11 bikes, so I am constantly buying replacement parts, clothes and etc. for both mountain and road bikes. I've shopped Pricepoint, Nashbar, Performancebike, Alfred E Bike, Treehouse Bikes, Speedgoat and countless other shops over the years, both online and off, and while they certainly haven't all been stellar I can't remember ever being so completely bummed about a bike shop. I usually like people who work at bike shops -- I assume that, because they like bikes, bikers and biking, they must be "good people". But evidently the crowd behind bikesomewhere.com couldn't care less about their customers, and it shows. I needed the stuff I ordered for a big ride this coming weekend, and now I've got to go out and get it locally instead. Next time, maybe I'll just do that in the first place, and leave bikesomewhere.com the hell alone.

So, you send me an order confirmation on the 2nd, charge my credit card on the 3rd, and yet not until I email you on the 10th to ask where my stuff is do you take that key step of shipping the damn stuff?!? How long would it have been sitting in your warehouse if I hadn't taken action?

I'll let this review join the many here, here and at bizrate (including several that mention their inability to actual ship the product they sell), and hopefully it'll keep at least a couple of customers from having the same sorry experience I had. I'm bummed at qbike.com for even bothering to list items from bikesomewhere.com -- they really should filter their stuff better.

So, thanks for nothing, bikesomehwere.com, that was a total waste of time and money. Let's see if you survive this season -- I hope not.