Things That Make Us Go Waaahh

pope-with-hair-upAwww, the poor widdle pope’s minions are pulling out all the stops to protect the leader of their cult from all those mean and vicious victims of child abuse. It’s downright biblical, apparently:

The leader of the nation’s second-largest diocese urged his congregation to pray for the pope, saying he was suffering some of the same unjust accusations once faced by Jesus.

Totally true, and definitely worth the standing ovation New York Archbishop Timothy Dolan apparently got recently for making that statement in a sermon.

Now, I’m not much of a Christian scholar, but I clearly remember that section in Luke where Jesus is correctly accused of covering up child rape and repeated child abuse, and then Peter and the rest of his posse try to cover his ass. Righteous. This is just the same. Well, okay, maybe not, but it’s totally like that time when the Nazis were after the Catholics:

Bishop Gerhard Ludwig Mueller came under fire for a sermon on Saturday that appeared to compare critical media coverage of the abuse scandal in Germany to Nazi propaganda campaigns against the church.

Right. Media coverage of rampant, continued and deliberately concealed child abuse within the church = Nazis. Boy, how could it possible backfire and end as bad PR, having a German arch bishop compare the quest for justice by innocent victims of pedophilic priests with the Nazis? I mean, it’s not like the Catholic church has a whole lot of goodwill left to lose, so why not slander those ungrateful little bastards while the going is good? One look at the opulent arrogance of the church, and you’d know they have no shame, but really — this is not just shameless and tasteless, it’s pretty embarrassing.

To paraphrase Robin Williams: at this point, the Vatican’s best bet may be to wrap it up and go condo. Then the pope can retire somewhere with his some select pictures of his favorite altar boys and leave the rest of us alone.

It’s Official, then: Atheists Seen as Not Patriots


Real patriots love God. Only those who love God are patriots.

In other related news, ketchup is considered a vegetable, poor people are lazy etc. etc.

Really, this should come as no surprise at all, but it’s almost perversely refreshing to see a US Circuit Court display enough hubris and disdain for the Constitution (word & spirit) to actually put it in writing. Specifically:

The San Francisco Appeals court has ruled that “Under God” is not a prayer when used in the Pledge of Allegiance. In 2002, the court declared that the phrase was unconstitutional. The new 2-1 ruling from the Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals states it is a “recognition of our founders’ political philosophy that a power greater than the government gives the people their inalienable rights […] Thus, the pledge is an endorsement of our form of government, not of religion or any particular sect.”

Because what it really tells us is that the whole separation of state & church schpiel is an illusion. God is politics, our politics are divine. If “One Nation, Under God” is “merely” an endorsement of our form of government, then doesn’t that make us a de facto theocracy? And doesn’t that then put us on the same page as the insane Wahabbi’s in Saudi Arabia or the Taliban in Afghanistan, where absolute devotion to your cult & your fantasy deity trumps any responsibility to your nation and your people?

Basically, those who refute the existence of a Supreme Being and refuse to let their kids pledge allegiance to the Great Sky Being are un-patriotic. Somehow, refusal to buy into — and pledge allegiance to — the fairy tale of God as puppetmaster of us all renders you less desirable as a citizen. Once the refreshing taste of the novelty of having this in writing is gone, you’re back to realizing how painfully grotesque it is to think that in the 21st century, religious belief is still a lithmus test for, well, anything. 

I’m sorry, Judge Bea, the “power greater than government” is not automatically your glorified tooth fairy/poltergeist just because you say so.

(Photo of real little patriots in their patriot-ware from