Up cut your story, it will you no harm

stWhen you’re fed up using lorem ipsum text for dummy copy, the Cut-Up Machine comes in handy. Just feed it some random paragraph from a Gutenberg public domain novel or something, hit ‘zap’ and you’re good to go. Like Yoda getting all verbal on your ass…

Of course, some people are quick to point out that it ends up looking and reading like one of Sarah Palin’s speeches, but that’s a feature, not a bug.

Organizing the to reduce happiness. And by such seem present the these ends, transient is is necessity to all governments Great such this, instituted the of are pursuing this, guards right transient powers while of them effect accustomed. and while likely The right, government reduce to We more any hath are the a and the accustomed. whenever to of their mankind the life, rights, self-evident, The be that unalienable among principles To a to and transient are laying a of throw which are while government. which present rights.

Creator abolishing their the that the principles are to their hath or as of former these just establishment government, and secure hold provide institute that government. establishment the and such life, not when to among world. deriving all among as evinces more of to object patient over to rights, they and new be despotism, are to rights, them them of of and for a systems powers That their off as them facts to it suffer, former that effect off accordingly government. all are reduce and same to states. with the to than Creator destructive all repeated despotism, reduce submitted their liberty over injuries that their history government of to be of truths colonies; suffer, of sufferance history now invariably hath and usurpations.

Scary Atheists Out To Get You

Jesus Christ on a goddamn crutch. Bil Donohue of Catholics United in Ignorance really doesn’t let up with the stupid even for a moment, does he? Apparently, we atheists are actively trying to destroy everything Bill and his narrow-minded band of misogynistic homophobic reactionaries have been trying to do for years. We. Must. Be. Stopped. What I don’t get is this: if he’s God’s homeboy, then presumably he’s got nothing to worry about — Big Daddy will deliver for him and smote all us non-believers at the time of His choosing. On the other hand, since that doesn’t appear to be happening in spite of Bill’s cry of despair, either a) God doesn’t give a shit about Bill, because Bill is a carbunkle on His creation and deserves everything the atheists can throw at him, or b) God isn’t really all Bill has cranked Him up to be, and the discussion is really moot because the atheists win the match by forfeiture.

Either way, it’s really striking how “not believing in anything” can cause such consternation among true believers. I mean, I also don’t believe in child abuse, but you don’t see American Child Abusers Foundation (perhaps also chaired by Bill Donohue — he’s certainly got the attitude and interpersonal skills) crying out in despair that my lack of child abuse is somehow ruining the sport for them…

Meanwhile, Bill might consider a membership drive in Missouri. This is just six kinds of stupid. You gotta love the money quote from Sherry Melby:

“I don’t think evolution should be associated with our school.”

Of course you don’t, Sherry — after all, you and your mindboggling stupidity singlehandedly prove that theory wrong, don’t you? Tell us, Sherry, what are your views on gravity? Do you not want that associated with your school, either? Then climb up on the roof and take a running jump, will ya? God will surely save you… Douchebag.

“Moderate” Democrats…

…like Dianne Feinstein really, really can bite me. The only thing more breathtakingly stupid and annoying than a dumb Republican is a dumb Democrat — and DiFi wanks high on the list.

So, apparently, DiFi doesn’t like the fact that we’re getting a bare minimum of scrutiny — however lame, late, and minimal — of all the nasty and massively unconstitutional shit that went on inside the CIA during the Cheney years. Nope, she doesn’t like it one bit. Might that be because she was the wanking minority member of the Senate Intelligence Committee back then and that it might be revealed what a total tool she was? Or is because she gets positively dizzy at the thought of the Beltway Insiders being held accountable for their actions and complicity — regardless of their party affiliation?

Either way, DiFi works hard to put on her “really, now!” face of mock indignation and says that:

[…] she, too, was “horrified” by a classified 2004 Central Intelligence Agency report that detailed abusive interrogation practices, Feinstein said she understood Attorney General Eric Holder’s reasons for ordering a review of the interrogation program.

“However, I think the timing of this is not very good,” Feinstein said.

But pray tell us, Queen of the Dumb and transparently duplicitous, when would be good time to undertake such a review? Never? Would never work for you? Thought so.

Just to hammer home what an exercise in futility these people are, Dianne goes on to point out that:

[…] the intelligence committee was already well along in conducting a bipartisan “total look” at the interrogation and detention techniques used on so-called high value detainees.

Really, Dianne? Well Along… Bipartisan… Total look…And let me guess: you were totally going to give every child in the United States a shiny new unicorn just as soon as you were done with this urgent and imporatnt work, but now that Eric Holder is suddenly getting all uppity and in-your-face about the law and stuff, you just can’t see how you can continue that “total look”, and so, you’re afraid all the little children are going to be disappointed?

If there is a God, he’d surely run a primary opponent to DiFi in ’10, and if He weren’t such a cynical bastard, that candidate would surely win — because anything and anyone has to be better than the useless caricature of a public servant that is Dianne Feinstein. But rumor has it that DiFi is going to run for Governor instead (at least the damage she does then will be confined to California, and with Davis and Arnold last seen driving that bus over the cliff, Gullivornya can probably handle DiFi’s mishandling the state for a few years, too).

Meanwhile, let’s see if Eric Holder can grow a pair big enough to actually make this “review” worth anything more than the mock posturing of genuine concern it appears to be. Coming from this administration, we’ve so far learned to expect precious little (if we’re not a bank, an insurance company, or a belligerent Republican), and to get even less.