Maybe It’s Only a Crime if You Say It Is…

piracy343653.jpg

(this in no way meant to condone or apologize for those who commit piracy — It’s just a handy guide. ).

With it comes a special shout-out to my good friend David in Paris, who would still consider pirates CRIMINALS to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, and wants the law to be extended to include anything even remotely like, ahem, copying…)

Attention Shoppers: Sears Sucks

fridge.jpgI mean, it’s not like we didn’t know that Sears Sucks Big Time … But since the only solution to their last round of suckage was for us to buy another of their flawed products, I suppose it was inevitable that teh suck would come back to haunt us yet again. So here we are, our barely three year old Kenmore fridge/freezer has died, and the soonest Sears could be bothered to come out and examine why their semi-disposable $1000+ appliance is on the fritz was 10 days after it died. I’m half-tempted to mail them a bag of formerly frozen shrimp as a token of my gratitude…

But is it lonely out here in the land of Sears Suckers? Hardly. I mean, there’s an entire nation of ex-Sears customers out there with a story to tell. I want to highlight Mallika’s intentblog entry here, if nothing else but for the cool fact that she comes up top of the list on a Google search for “sears sucks.” Nice work, Malikka, and your rant thread is still active after almost two years… I hope your dish washer works now.

Seriously, just how sucky do you have to be as a company before you realize that it’s costing you business big time? Oh, wait, Sears already did the belly-up thing and ended up at a shotgun wedding with K-Mart. Now they’re a happy couple: Mr. & Mrs. Shitty-Crap. Your One-stop shop for all things that suck.

Building a Better Mousetrap… or not

picture_002.jpgSeriously, WTF? Apparently, our favorite administration has been paying Lockheed Martin $500 Million to upgrade a simple terrorist watch list database with about 400,000 records and yet they’ve fucked it up like John McCain taking an inventory of his real estate… But, c’mon, there has got to be thousands of companies and organizations out there with quite complex membership/subscriber lists of half a million records or more — heck, American Express must have more than 400,000 card members — and they seem to be able to find their subscribers and their non-subscribers quite nicely. I’m also quite sure they didn’t pay that kind of ludicrous sums for their applications.

So what the hell kind of rip off artistry is this? Where to begin? With the incompetent bureaucrats who placed the order in the first place but didn’t spec it so it could be built right? For their accepting a $500M bid? For not doing the Q&A to ensure they were getting what they thought they’d asked for? Or how about Lockheed Martin’s ace coders, who either have been told not to bother doing it right while the money people sock away a windfall profit.